Which St Valentine - there's more than one

A recipe for a red plum torte

Like New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day has always been an occasion, in my experience, that doesn’t live up to expectations. Growing up, the only Valentine I ever received was from my grandfather, which these days would probably have him receiving a visit from the police or Social Services. Once I’d grown up, it was my children who sent them, from their kindergarten days of unanchored crayon work to suggestively inappropriate cards that probably cost as much as decent chocolate.

But since February really doesn’t have much going for it except for its brevity, it’s the only thing in the month to look forward to. So we should give thanks to the two Saint Valentines (yes, you read that right) whose martyrdom we celebrate on the 14th.

There are several versions of the origins of the day. In this one, which I prefer for being the most entertaining, both Valentines, strangers who shared the name, were executed by Emperor Claudius II during the feast of Lupercalia, which takes place in the middle of February, in two separate years during the 3rd century AD.

Celebration of the feast was the occasion for the Luperci, a band of priests, to run naked around Rome beating women with thongs. Apparently, women lined up for this privilege because they believed being whipped with strips of the skins of goats and dogs which had been sacrificed for the event, would render them fertile.

From a woman’s perspective it sounds like just another example of what we have to put up with to reproduce.

As part of the ceremony, two of the Luperci, representing the founders of Rome, twins Romulus and Remus raised by an exemplary parent, a wolf, were led to an altar and required to laugh heartily throughout the jamboree. It might at least have kept them warm, it being February and them being naked.

If this were not diverting enough, the names of the women were dropped into a receptacle which acted as an early version of Tindr. They would be paired up with whoever drew theirs out, for a romp that would last the duration of the three-day festival and - if they had found a suitable match - for life.

I don’t feel any of this is anything to be celebrated with chocolate.

The tradition of giving chocolates to one’s beloved is, anyway, a very recent sales promo exercise. It was dreamed up in 1861 by the son of the founder of the Cadbury chocolate empire. Chocolates had long been packed into fancy boxes but in that year, Richard Cadbury introduced the very first heart-shaped one.

Valentine’s Day cards are even newer, the first Hallmark one being published in 1913.

14th February had been declared the day to honour the martyr St Valentine with a religious feast by Pope Gelasius in the 5th century. English bard Geoffrey Chaucer is thought to have been the first person to associate St Valentine with love, in his poem of 1375, The Parlement of Fowls, about the vision of a dreamer witnessing birds choosing their mates in a temple of Venus.

Feel free to ignore the day as no more than the commercial exercise it is. Still, a highly successful one we’ve taken to with exuberance. In 2024, total US spend on Valentine’s Day amounted to $25.8 billion, more than the GDP of 73 countries. Of that, $4.9 billion was spent going to a Valentine’s Day dinner. Just in case you’re taken to one this year and find yourself short of conversational gambits, here are some provocative facts:

Last year, 33 per cent of Americans went into credit card debt as a direct result of buying Valentine’s Day gifts. 39 percent of Americans bought flowers, of which 70 percent were red roses; 57 percent bought candy. Men spent an average $248 on presents while women spent less than half that, $115. $6.5 billion was spent on jewellery, hopefully not all on picky Gen Zers. 26 percent of Gen Zers returned the gifts they were given. Whether for store credit or a different sweetheart is not clear. $1.5 billion was spent on presents for pets who would have been unable to.

Such a lot of tosh is written about aphrodisiac food. If you’re inclined to celebrate St Valentine’s Day in Lupercalian fashion, eat whatever takes your fancy. (Although it would be wise not to take your sweetheart out for an Indian meal. They’re generally too stupefying for performance.)

I’m making a plum torte. Because it’s easy, the plums are suitably red, and I like it. Keep the recipe to hand for peach and apricot and fig season. It’s not my recipe but one that Marian Burros published every September in the New York Times until 1989. I added a teaspoon of almond essence to the batter to emphasise the plums’ flavour. However, if you want to stick with chocolate, this sonically rich recipe for a St Emilion au Chocolat is very easy and quick to make and can be done the day ahead.

The plum torte serves 8, in case you have 8 beloveds to accommodate.

150g/¾ cup sugar (the original recipe used 1 cup)
110g/½ cup unsalted butter, softened
120g/1 cup unbleached flour, sifted
1 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch of salt
2 eggs
10-12 red plums, halved and pitted
Sugar, lemon juice and cinnamon, for topping

Heat oven to 175C/350F degrees.

Cream the sugar and butter in a bowl. Add the flour, baking powder, salt and eggs and beat well.

Spoon the batter into a well-greased spring-form pan of 20, 22, or 25cms/8, 9 or 10 inches. Place the plum halves skin side up on top of the batter. Sprinkle lightly with sugar and lemon juice and about 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, if you like cinnamon. I hate it, if you’re in the least interested, so leave it out.

Bake about 1 hour, until a toothpick pressed into its centre comes out clean. Cool to lukewarm in its pan, then decant and serve lukewarm plain or with whipped cream. Or let it get completely cold and freeze in double wraps of tin foil then in a plastic freezer bag. To serve a frozen torte, defrost and reheat it briefly to lukewarm at 150C/300F degrees.